People Who Make You Better

I'm not much of a "friend" person. I attribute it to some bad experiences in my younger years, to moving a lot as a young married so not taking the time to invest in people I was moving from anyway, to the always difficult task once you are married of finding a couple where both parties click (you know--you like the wife, but your husband can't stand her husband or vice versa), to being married to my best friend and preferring him to most everyone...I don't know. Just seemed to add up to me, my God, my family, and very few close friends.

I learned the hard way that you have to surround yourself with people who make you a better person, a better couple. In all areas of my life, this has rang true. I have always thought of myself as an independent person who beat to her own drum, who peer pressure didn't work with, certainly not the "follower" in the crowd. Yet, I've noticed looking back how much people I'm around influence my attitude, my mood, my behavior...sometimes for the not-so-good: like exaggerating the negative when I'm around people who see the glass half empty, starting to nit-pick at Jonathan when I'm around wives who complain about their husbands, eating absolute junk when I'm with crowds who do so...and sometimes the good: stopping to "just be" (which I'm not usually prone to do) when I'm with people who are really deliberate about living in the moment, "passing it on" when I'm around someone who inspires kindness, taking a deep breath and lowering my voice when I'm around a gentle person.

We've really been blessed to make close friends where we have decided to settle down. You know...the kind of friends with whom you have a silent understanding that you'll do certain things together (watch the game, go to the dinner, etc.), that you can ask to help you move something really heavy, that you feel comfortable being around with no makeup and wet hair, that let you in when you've had one of those fights and you need a place to cool off, the kind who know the idiosyncrasies of you and your marriage and love you in spite of them (and sometimes even because of them)...those kind! And not only are they good, but they make you better.

Exercise is one of those areas our friends have made us better. They're the couple to whom Jonathan mentioned he'd like to do a 5k...the ones that said "you should!" . They were at our first 5k, first 10k (actually every race we've ever done), and will certainly be at our first half marathon (yes, I said "first" like I might do another). It's nice. It's not only nice to have friends who are healthy influences in your life and with whom you can do healthy things with (when we vacation together, we make time for exercise; the guys go mountain biking ; we'll travel to races together and make a weekend out of it); it's nice to feel like people are on your "team"--to have people to talk about your training with, to motivate you, to cheer you on at the races. For being such a not-much-of-a-"friend"-person, having these kind of friends is a blessing I definitely don't take for granted and most definitely count twice.

So, here's to friends who make us better and being friends who inspire "better"!