Running with Your Mate

So you may remember that one of the reasons we started this running bit was to find a form of exercise we could do together (this being more important to Jonathan because he really likes to exercise and wants me to as well). We've tried working out at the gym together. Never seems to work because (in my humble opinion) he's always instructing me, and frankly...I don't take instruction well (no surprise there)! We've tried tennis. This didn't work either because frankly..he's really good and I'm really not, and I don't much like doing things I'm not really good at. [Is anyone else seeing a pattern here?] Now why we thought running would work since we have a pattern of failed attempts at exercise with one common denominator [me!] is really beyond me, but off we went! And, as you've read in my DRC Race Report...we will add running to our list of failed exercise attempts.

The whole idea to finish races together was encouraged by an article in Runner's World where Natalie Morales discusses she and her husband finishing marathons together. "That's neat!" we both thought. For whatever reason though, it just doesn't work for us. At first I thought it was because of our painstakingly different athletic abilities. However, I know couples who are a similar pace who can't seem to make it work either. As I looked around the race on Sunday and saw so many couples running together and seemingly enjoying it, I started to feel like we were the only ones who couldn't make it work. But after I posted my race report on the Runner's World forum (essentially the same report I posted on this blog), and read the flood of comments about feeling the same frustration about running with their husbands (who in message board world is called "DH"--I have no idea why), I'm starting to think there's something to this!

Why is it that some couples just can't run together? I think the #1 reason we can't make it work is different expectations. I know my expectation of running together was to talk and enjoy each other's company while we ran (Jonathan prefers to strictly listen to his iPod), to leisurely run and walk when we wanted, and to finish certain distances together ( while Jonathan prefers to see how fast and far we can go). So it's really no wonder it doesn't work for us. We're constantly frustrated because our expectations aren't being met! I'm frustrated because he won't take the earphones out and because he's pushing me to go faster and farther than I want to go, and he's frustrated because all he wants to do is listen to his music and push faster and farther!

So for us, we've resolved to continue running "together" in the sense that we'll follow the same training plan (we'll just do the runs at different paces), and we'll go to the races together. This way we can still share the overall experience, but each be able to satisfy our own individual expectations. We'll see how it goes...

I just have to share some of the comments about running with your mate from my Race Report (RR) post on Runner's World:

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Wow, I've never run a half, but I've experienced almost all of the same stuff as you, including cussing (and hitting) my overly chipper DH! Major kudos to you for finishing, as these things usually call a halt for me. Go you!!!

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Well that was one great race report. And I am so glad you are going for it again next Month. I think if you follow that #6 tip, you will be just fine.......

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Congratulations on a great run (even if it wasn't at the time) and you have the medal to prove that even if your mind battle had you on the bottom, you still pulled through!!! My husband and I will start races together, and agree to meet somewhere after the finish line. We've learned when he's tried to train with me that we're not the same pace!

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I know you are disappointed with your race but you persevered! I certainly don't mean to make light of how you felt at the time but you wrote it in a very entertaining manner. I can't believe your DH would run a mile time trial in the middle of a half marathon which he is supposed to be running in support of you! No worries, I think most would agree that he does indeed have a hot wife!! LOL! Sucks about the blister. You might look into wearing either some friction free socks or just rub your feet in Vaseline before the run. A piece of advice...leave the DH on the sidelines for the next one!

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I loved your report and your sense of humor! Even though it wasn't the way you had envisioned it, you persevered! If you husband is reading, yes you do have "a hot wife"! However, don't be doing a mile time trial at the tail end of a half marathon where you are supposed to be supporting your wife! Stay on the sidelines next time! LOL!
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Great report! You cracked me up, and you nailed how I feel about running with my hubby as well! Great job! Thank you for such a fantastic RR, so entertaining. Congrats on your finish and time!
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My husband and I make a great team but running together?!?!?! HA! We tried to do C25K a year ago together, and it was almost grounds for divorce. Now we run on our own. Your honesty was so completely refreshing.